Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Income Tax

Woo Hoo!!! The accountant just called, a fax is on the way, and our return will be deposited in 3 days!! God is good! This money couldn't have come at a better time! Thank you Jesus!!!!!

Saturday, March 28, 2009

A new look

I started out just looking for a new look to my boring blog. Because I'm an idiot and didn't back up everything I have to basically start all over. Oh well, it was time for a change. It will take me a couple of days but I'll get it all lined out. I finally have music, that makes me happy!

Monday, March 23, 2009

A Stranger's Heart

You never know what someone else is going through. The daily struggles that they live with, the hurt that is in their heart, you can't see it on the outside. Unless you are told, you have no clue what's in someone else's mind. I try to remember that and live by that rule as much as possible. Bubba and I have discussed it many times. If you are in the check out line and the lady checking out your groceries is a little rude or unsociable, take into account that you don't know what she may be going through.

I had to have blood drawn for my diabetes test. The lady that was drawing my blood was very short, a bit bitter, and even somewhat rude. She's an elderly lady and I've seen her in the halls of the Dr.'s office many times. She's never really worn a smile and doesn't have much to say to anyone. I've often thought to myself, "what a rude old hag," but I've never said anything. Then I slipped up, I made a comment to the girl taking my blood pressure that the old lady was in bad mood all of the time. She said, "Yeah, she just lost her husband 3 weeks ago to cancer, they had been married almost 50 years." Okay, now I feel like a complete jerk! Instead of judging her, I should have taken my own advice and considered what she may be going through. It doesn't excuse the fact that she's a bit rude and very cold but it does help me to understand why she is. How would I feel if I had lost my husband of almost 50 years to cancer? Just goes to show that you never know what another person is going through. You never know what weighs on someone else's heart. I'm going to try a little harder to take my own advice and not be so quick to judge. Now, instead of grumbling to myself about how rude she is, I'll be praying for God to give her peace.

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Where did it go?

This week has gone by so fast. The weather has been absolutely beautiful and we have pretty much had something to do everyday. It's like I have blinked and it's almost over. I love Bubba being home! He's a great helper for one thing. He can take Sister outside to play and give me a few minutes to do chores that are otherwise hard when she's "helping." He's just a great kid and I love having him around. I'm so lucky that Thumper is due during the summer when I'll have Bubba home to help me. I don't know what I'd do without that kid. He's amazing!

Yesterday I did my dil duty and took my mil to the Dr. Actually, I dropped her off at the office and the kids and I went to the Disney Science Museum. It was a lot of fun! The kids had a blast and I ran my legs off chasing Sister but it was a fun day. The only thing I regret is that I took my camera but had no freaking memory card. I've done that a time or two lately and I think I may have to buy an extra to keep in the bag for just such occasions. I really really need to invest in a decent camera bag. The one I use now, it's actually a lunch box, lol. Yup, I'm cheap and lame.

The day out with mil wasn't too bad. We had a little talk a few days ago and I got some things straight. She's been on her best behavior and I think, at least for now, she knows where her boundaries are. She's really a good person and she means well but she needed to be put in her place a long time ago. It's really my fault for letting it go on as long as it did. I think now that things are out in the open, we will all feel much better. I'm still going to be careful what I say and keep my distance so to speak. I still don't trust her and probably never will again. Trust is something you've got to earn and once you've broken it, it's hard to ever fix it.

We've got the weekend left and then Bubba is back to school. No baseball practice and no ballgames this weekend so I'm not sure what we'll do. Maybe a day at the movies, just my boy and I. I'll have to check the listings and see what's showing. We haven't had a day out just he and I in a very long time. Yep, I think it's a plan!

Monday, March 16, 2009

My heart hurts

The room was full of family and friends. Everyone talking about M and how she would be missed and how horrible it was that she had been taken too soon. Discussions of her murder and when her killer would be brought to justice. Conversations were all over the room, remembering M. as a beautiful, loving mother. Then, the room got silent for a moment. You could have heard a pin drop. I turned and looked and there they were, her beautiful girls. The room was quiet and still as those two beautiful girls walked down to the front where the body of their mother layed. The oldest had a tight grip on the little one's hand as they both sobbed all the way down the isle. The oldest one, a spitting image of her mother, and the little one, the total face of innocence. There was not a dry eye in the room. Those two beautiful children's lives have been turned upside down. Anyone with half a heart ached for those two children as they made their way to view their mother in the coffin.

As they made it down to the front, my grandfather (and theirs) wrapped his arms around them and the three of them proceeded to the casket. He, just as heartbroken as the girls, had a hard time standing up. He had already layed one daughter to rest and now his other. The pain he must feel. He's lost not only one child, but now two, his only two daughters. Both, gone too soon! How heartbreaking for a father to lose both of his little girls.

The plans for the girls futures is still undecided. Right now, they are staying with a close family friend. They requested to stay there so right now, whatever the girls want, that's what they will get. They are top priority right now. Today will be extremely hard for them. It will be the last time that they see their mother. They will watch as she is placed into the ground and her body forever leaves this world. The one thing that gives me comfort is knowing that M. taught both of those girls about the love of Jesus. They know that He is there to comfort them and they know that their mother is in His hands. His love is what will get them through!

Saturday, March 14, 2009

Gone Too Soon!

A beautiful woman, loving mother, devoted Christian. Caring, outgoing, lover of life! Gone too soon! I never really called her aunt because she was only 4 years older than me but in relation, that's exactly what she was, my aunt. My mom's only sister. The "baby" of the family. She was a good person and left this world way too soon. She leaves behind two beautiful girls. My heart aches so badly for them. It is so not fair that they have to go on without her. I just pray that God wraps his arms around them and delivers them from the horrible pain that I know they must be going through. I pray that the memory of watching their mother die in their arms from a gunshot wound does not haunt them for the rest of their lives.

The man that did this is a coward. How could anyone take a mother from her children? Leave their children without a mother? Now, they will also be without a father. He did it! He hasn't been arrested yet, for lack of evidence, but it is only a matter of time. He's guilty! Even more pain and suffering for those two beautiful girls. How will they go on knowing that their father killed their mother? I am just so sad for them! I hope they catch him soon and he spends the rest of his natural born life in prison. Once he gets there, I hope he becomes some body's bitch. Even that, that's too easy for him. For what he's done to this family and to his own children, he deserves to suffer.

Visitation is tomorrow and the funeral the next day. Hubs, the kids, and I will go to visitation. I have a really hard time with funerals and I'm not certain if I will make it to hers or not. I will have to do a lot of praying and make up my mind later. I've been to too many funerals in my lifetime. Mamaw, Nanny, Mom, brother, father in law, Uncle, Great granny, Papaw, Popa, and several friends and that's all in the last 10 years. I just don't know if I can do it again. I could go to a complete strangers funeral and bawl like a baby. It's not for the one in the casket that I weep for, it's for the ones that are left behind. I know that my "aunt" loved the Lord and I know where her heart was. She'll be okay! It's her girls, her father, her brother, her family that are left behind to grieve that I weep for. Her funeral is also in the exact funeral home where I last saw my mother, my brother, and my nanny. Their services were all there and every time I walk into that place the memories come flooding back. I'm just not sure it's what's best for me, Thumper and Sister. I'll just pray!

When you say your prayers, if you don't mind, please say a little prayer for the girls. The oldest is 10 and the baby is just 3. They are really going to miss their mommy!!!!!

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Passive Aggressive Much?

She was gone an entire week and I must admit that I thoroughly enjoyed it. Only one phone call the entire time that she was gone and I actually let it go to voice mail. Then today, she came back. Same old passive aggressive bull crap. Hubs and I have had a talk and I explained to her today that we all three need to have a talk. Her response, "Well, I'll let ya'll talk to me because I know I'm the wrong one and whatever ya'll want to say is going to be right." OMG, she's killing me! She's completely and totally obsessed with my child and it is sickening. Will she ever realize that she is NOT the mother? I know she's old and all but she's got a brain right?
She has seriously worn out her welcome with me and I can never feel the way I used to feel about her again. I honestly can't stand to be around her anymore. The sight of her makes me cringe. I really do hate feeling that way but she's brought it all on herself. I hope that Hubs and I can have a long talk with her and make her understand what she's doing. Heck, Hubs doesn't even know the half of it. I've kept my mouth shut for so long until I finally go to the boiling point. I was worried that it would cause trouble between Hubs and I but as it turns out, he's on my side. I'm ready to get some things off of my chest and tell her exactly how I feel and lay down the law so to speak. Things have got to change before Thumper gets here, that's for sure.

Monday, March 9, 2009

Why would you stay?

If you knew that you weren't wanted somewhere, that you weren't welcome, would you stay? Would you feel awkward knowing that you were in a place where your input was no longer valued? No matter if you told the truth or if you didn't, no one believed it anyway. Would you stay just out of spite or would you leave with what little bit of dignity you had left?
I'd like to think that I'd have enough couth about me to pack up and go. As an immature teenager, I may have stayed but now that I'm an adult and I've matured I think I'd go. No need in staying where you know you aren't wanted. There's just too many other places to go.
I've never really understood that about some people. I hope that I'm mature enough and self confident enough to know that my input could be valued someplace else. Just something to think about I guess.

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

He's passionate about it

Bubba is jumping in with both feet and really trying to make a go of this March for Babies walk. He's so excited about it and wanting to do so many things to raise money in his sisters name. We started out with a small goal because I didn't want him to get disappointed if he didn't reach his goal. Our team goal is $250.00 but his personal goal is $100.00. He's already made $50.00 so he's proud. The walk isn't until April 18th so he still has awhile. Last night he printed information to take to school today, he sent out about 30 emails, and he's going to talk to his principal this afternoon. He wants to talk to the principal about doing a penny drive or something for the Junior High. I'm really glad that he's getting so involved. He knows how lucky we were when Sister was born and he wants to show his appreciation by raising money to help others. I think it's great! He's a 10 year old boy with a HUGE heart!

He's already talking about how he wants to design our t-shirts and who all he wants to recruit to walk with us. I'm hoping that him being so aggressive and involved in this cause that it will encourage him to get involved in other charities later on. He's a good kid and I couldn't be more proud of him.