Friday, February 27, 2009

Procrastinate much?

It's been several week since I ran across that great deal on fabric. Wal-Mart is no longer going to sell fabric and they had it all on sale for 50% off. It was pretty picked over by the time I found out about it but I still walked away with some goodies. I got some really cute Bugs Bunny fabric to make Sister a pair of scrubs for when Thumper is born. He's wearing a Dr.'s coat, eating a carrot, and saying What's Up Doc! They had some cute Elmo material that I plan on making her some p.j.'s out of. A pretty pink fabric with hearts and skulls that I may make a jumper with. Two or three other styles that I plan on using for jammies and such. I even purchased a new sewing machine that day.

The problem.....the sewing machine is still in the box and I haven't touched any of it since I brought it home. It is in my office and I look at it several times a day but have yet to get started on anything. What is it that has made me so flippin lazy? I have big plans but get nothing done. I used to not be this way. I used to be a go getter. Always going, always doing, never stopping. Now, I sit on my butt in front of this computer screen. I've gotta get motivated! The weather has been nice the last couple of days and Sister and I have spent much of the day outside. It's been so nice to be able to go outside and play and not have to bundle up. But, tomorrow, a cold front is coming. Supposed to be a really cold weekend. Ugh! I'm hoping that once spring gets here that I can get off of my butt and get motivated to do something besides stare at this monitor. Besides, I don't have much longer before Thumper gets here, I gotta get to sewing.

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

It's a new season

Last weekend was our very last Little Dribblers basketball game ever. It was the last time that I will ever coach him and the last time that he will ever play. This week started a new season. The spring season baseball draft was held on Sunday. I was so worried about him getting on a good team and where he'd go in the draft. Once it was all over and we got a phone call I couldn't have been more relieved. There were 117 kids that tried out for teams. Bubba went #5 in the draft. That's freaking awesome! I'm so proud of him! I know he's good but you know when you are a parent it's hard not to be a little biased. It was so awesome to find out that other coaches thinks he's that awesome too. He got a great coach too! I was so worried about that. His coach is a good Christian guy and will definitely teach him something. There are so many coaches out there that aren't good mentors and I didn't want him to get stuck with some smuck. God was looking out for us and we are both pleased with the outcome. He can't wait to get started and meet new teammates and friends.

Tomorrow is his first tournament game. He's on a Select Tournament team too. They are the best of the best in the league and they travel and play weekend tournaments. It's very competitive but fun too. Bubba loves it! Thank goodness they don't play that often because it can get a little heavy on the pocket book. Their team has good sponsors though and they usually take care of supplying their uniforms and such. Which reminds me, I better go hunt up all of Bubba's uniform, it's been a couple of months since he's worn it.

Other news: Still no name for our little Thumper. It really bothers me that she doesn't have a name yet. I just haven't come across THAT name and until I do she'll just be our little Thumper.
Sissy girl has been peeing on the potty!!!! Yay Sissy! We are no where near potty trained yet but we have sure made good progress this week.
If we can get her out of diapers before Thumper gets here I'll be tickled pink.
It's less than three months before her second birthday and I must admit, it makes me a little sad. Where has time gone?
I'm over half way with this pregnancy and I want it to slow down. I know this is the last one and I want to cherish every moment of it.

Saturday, February 21, 2009

Chapter Over

I did it today. I coached Bubba for the very last time. It just dawned on me and I am very sad. I started out making a totally different post and it hit me. It's over! I'll never coach him again. I can't believe that chapter of our life is over. My boy is growing up and I hate it. I know he has to but it makes me very very sad. He's my baby! I knew that it was going to be hard but I didn't know it was going to hit me like this. I'm a blubbering mess!

I have coached that sweet boy since he very first started. Basketball, spring baseball, fall ball, we've done it all. He and I, we've been a great team over the years. There have been times that I have wanted to quit but when those big beautiful eyes of his would beg me to continue I just couldn't say no. It's been hard. Not an easy road at all. Kids sports get very competitive and there's lots of drama. Men make it hard too. Most of them don't like the competition of a woman coach. They just made me that much more determined. They made me strive to be a better coach, a better mom.

We've had good times and bad times. Winning seasons and losing seasons. Sometimes it was fun and sometimes it wasn't fun at all. No matter what, we were a team, he and I. He's an extremely awesome kid and he has taught me so much. We have learned things together. We have created memories that will last a lifetime. Memories that not all parents get to share with their kids. All-star tournaments and Championship games, it's been so much fun! I am so proud of my boy and I am really going to miss coaching him. It may seem silly to some, but to me, it was something really special. Bubba and I have a really special bond and sports has been a big part of our lives. I'm going to miss so much about it but most of all, I'll miss the time we spend together. Now he'll spend that time with another coach, another mentor. I know he has to grow up and he has to learn from others but I'm not ready. I thought I was but I'm not. I've said it before and I'll say it again, Damn this parenting stuff is HARD. It really tears at your heartstrings.

He's a big boy now and tomorrow he will get his first phone call from his new coach. He'll be on a team with a new group of boys, a new group of coaches, and a new set of rules. I know he'll be fine but it's hard knowing that I have no control. I just pray that he gets a good coach that will teach him something and be fair. It's all I can ask for. He's a great ball player and I know he'll do fine! I'll start this season in the stands, a place I've never been before. It's going to be a different ride that's for sure.

Thursday, February 19, 2009

I'm gonna walk!

I've been interested in March of Dimes ever since I had Sister. She was 7 wks early and defied all odds. The Dr.'s were preparing us for all kinds of problems. They expected oxygen and feeding tubes, a long stay in the hospital, even possible developmental delays. My sweet precious girl entered this world a healthy 4 lbs. 13 oz. and breathing on her own. She never had to have oxygen, be in an incubator, or even have feeding tubes. She was a trooper. a real fighter from the very beginning. We were soooo blessed! She and I were in the hospital for 7 days. During those 7 days I saw a lot of babies and a lot of families that were not nearly as blessed. Tiny little frail babies with all sorts of tubes in their little bodies. Mommies having to touch their babies through incubator walls. It was really sad and really hard to see. I was going to that NICU every 3 hours to see and feed my precious baby girl and it was hard. I admit, I had times that I really felt sorry for myself, then I would look around and see how fortunate we were. How much worse it could be.

I got to know one lady there fairly well. Her baby, Olivia was born at 33 wks, just like Sister. But little Olivia only weighed 3.8 lbs. She had the tubes and monitors and was confined to an incubator. Her mother was staying in a Ronald McDonald House and coming to visit when she could. Little Olivia had already been in the hospital for weeks before we got there so this mother had already seen others come and go. I felt so sorry for her! She cried the day we got to take Sister home. She hugged me as we left and said that she was happy for us but couldn't help but be jealous. I learned a lot about preemies that week that we were in the hospital. Taking care of a preemie is completely different that taking care of a full term babe. I couldn't have done it without the support of my loving family.

March of Dimes is having a March for Babies Walk here in my hometown and I've decided to get up off of my butt and walk. Yes, I will be big and preggo, probably swollen feet and all but I can do it. It's a two mile walk in the middle of April and it's for a good cause. I am stepping out and hoping to raise money to help other families with premature babies. Bubba is really excited about it too and he's talked to a couple of his teachers about doing a fund raiser at school. Maybe a penny collection or something. I'm excited and can't wait to get started! If I can help just one person, just one family, not have to go through what we went through with Sister, then it is all worth it.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Why do I care?

I finally moved up into the big wide world of high speed. Now that I can cruise the internet a little, okay a lot quicker, I have been looking at things I normally wouldn't have looked at. Today, I was looking around on Myspace. Used to it took so long to load that I didn't even bother going there. My little sister has a rather entertaining myspace page. She and I, we've never really gotten along. There is 10 years between us and we are so incredibly different. I saw that she had posted some new pictures so I thought I'd take a look. I wish that I would have just stayed away from her page. Why do I do this to myself?

She's a really gorgeous girl but sits on her fat ass all day doing nothing and just gets bigger and bigger. She's as big as a dang house. She has never worked a day in her life and there is no reason why. She's married to a redneck idiot and doesn't have any kids. There is no excuse for her not getting off of her big ole butt and doing something. Heck, if nothing else, get out and walk some of that fat off. There is being overweight and then there is being obese. She is VERY obese! It's really really sad because she is sooooo pretty and has so much potential. Anyway, I've gotten off topic now. This is not what upset me the most.

While I'm checking out her pictures, I found a few pics of her and my brother. Then a pic or two of her, my brother, and my lil brother that died. A few pics of her mom, her hubby, lots and lots of pics of herself. Then, came the shocker. Pictures of my father. Then I looked on her front page and notice that he's been commenting on her myspace page. Curiosity got the best of me and I went to check out my little brother's page. Yep, he's been commenting on his page too. My brother and sister both have a great relationship with him. They adore him and are all very close. It's just really hard for me to look at him and see how happy they are and know that he is the same man that almost destroyed my life. He beat me and molested me. He took some of the most important years of my life from me. There are scars on my heart that will never go away. I've faught and struggled for so long to get over what that man did to me. I still fight and struggle to overcome the hurt that lays deep inside. Why? Why does he deserve to be happy? Why does he deserve to have children love and adore him after what he did to me? It just doesn't seem fair. Part of me HATES him! I don't use that word often but part of me does truly HATE him. Everytime I think I have forgiven him, something else comes up. Why do I care what he does with his life? Why do I care that my brother and sister love him so much? Why can't I just get over it? I'm the only one that gets hurt. Ugh!

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

How is it time already?

Tomorrow we go find out what Thumper is going to be. Boy? Girl? I can't decide what I want. I guess, honestly, I really don't care. With Bubba, I knew from the beginning that I wanted a boy. I was so incredibly happy when it was confirmed. With Sister, I wanted a girl because Hubs and Bubba wanted a girl. I must admit though that I caught myself looking at little boy clothes from time to time. Now, I am soooo glad that I got my girly. She's a feisty little toot but so much fun! I wouldn't trade her for anything in the world. I thought that surely if I ever got pregnant again that I would want a boy. You know, since I was still looking at little boy clothes even after it was confirmed that Sister would be a girl. But deep down, I think another girl would be awesome. I joke about how much of a handful she is, and Lord knows she is, but I would take 100 more just like her. So, whatever this baby is, I will be happy. As long as he/she is healthy, that's all that matters. I can't wait to find out!

It is so hard to believe that I am already 19 wks. It seems like only yesterday that I found out I was preggers. It's going too fast. This is most definitely the last one and I want it to slow down. I can't wait to meet Thumper but I don't want this pregnancy to fly by either. I really like being pregnant. The first couple of months are kind of rough. The tiredness and all is a little tough but once that little baby inside starts growing and moving, it's an awesome feeling. I love it when the baby moves. After Sister was born I really missed my preggo belly a lot. A lot more than I could have imagined that I would. I would catch myself rubbing my belly and kind of feeling sad that my little baby wasn't in there moving around.

Having Sister so early really taught me to slow down and enjoy every minute of pregnancy. After my appointment yesterday, I'm a little scared. There is a 50-50 chance that I will have this baby early too. Having Sister so early was the scariest thing I have ever been through in my life and I don't EVER want to go through that again. The Dr. told me yesterday that I will have to start my weekly visits at 30 wks. this time. We also decided that a vbac is not an option. It looks like I will have to have a c-sec this time. If Thumper stays in there and bakes like he/she is supposed to then I can handle the c-sec. What I can't handle is another emergency. Please little one, PLEASE, stay put until it is time to come out.

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Leave me and my household alone!

It seems that the flu is going around really bad. There have been so many kids at school sick with the flu that they are talking about dismissing school for a few days. There are only 35 kids in the sixth grade and Bubba said that they've had 5-6 absent every day this week. I got an email from the school this morning and according to the email, the elementary has really been hit hard. Boy am I glad that Bubba isn't in that building anymore.

The school gave free flu shots several months back and I was a little upset that Bubba didn't tell me about it until it was over with. Now, it looks like those flu shots didn't do any good anyway. They say that this round of flu is different and that no one is safe. We only have five boys on our basketball team and Bubba said that two of them have been home all week with the flu. Looks like we won't be playing ball this weekend. I hate to forfeit but it looks like we have no choice.

If it is really as bad as they say it is I wish they would just go ahead and cancel school. I really really don't want my kids to come down with it. Other than Sister getting sick from the Dr.'s office when we went for her 18 month well check, my kids have been pretty healthy this winter. A sniffle here or there but nothing major and I'd like to keep it that way. And Lord knows that my big preggo butt doesn't need to get sick. Please, oh please sickies, stay away from me and my household.