Sunday, December 28, 2008

It's been 2 years

Exactly two years ago, I was a member of BBC. I was pregnant with Sister and had joined, not knowing what was in store for me next. Things got pretty heated on that board from time to time and people would get very ugly. Then one day, this really cool chick with gorgeous kiddos, posted a link to a new board. So, being the nosey butt that I am, I went and joined. As it turned out, 20 other July moms joined the board too. There were a total of 22 of us July moms that had once been on BBC and a handful of other moms that were all already friends.

I had no idea what was in store for me when I joined that board. There was no way of knowing that I would make lasting friendships and really come to love some of the ladies I would meet there. We shared a lot over the first year. We laughed together, we cried together, we shared pregnancy photos and personal information. Things I never thought I would do over the internet. It was really amazing! I guess I was a little blind and a bit naive though. One day, it all blew up!

A couple of members had a disagreement behind closed doors and before you know it, the board was split. One side of the argument chose to remain quiet and not speak of the "fight" while the other duo chose to go behind backs and start a new board. They emailed all of the ladies they wanted to join them, they told lies and stories of the "fight" and pretty much "stole" most of the July mommy's from the first board. It was really sad! A lot of people got hurt then and some are still trying to recover. I still don't understand exactly why the "fight" took place and I sure as heck don't understand why it escalated to the extent that it did. The truth is, it's really sad that so many ladies shared so much with each other only to end up hating each other in the end. Truth be told, it's all about control, and that, that is very sad.

I think the people that I feel the sorriest for are those that chose to listen to one side of the story and believe what they were told, rather than learn both sides of the story and deal with the truth. I will admit, it took me awhile before I learned both sides and formed my own opinion of the "truth." Once I did though, I felt so much better about everything. I never want to be a follower of hearsay. I like to think that I can form my own opinion and most of the time it works out just right.

Through it all, I have learned valuable lessons. I have made wonderful friends and lasting memories. I am lucky to have shared my life with such wonderful ladies. I remain friends with those that I choose and for the rest, well, I wish them the best. Now, I get to share another miracle baby with a wonderful group of ladies, some who were around for the last pregnancy and some whom I have became friends with since. I'm looking forward to this journey!

Friday, December 19, 2008

100 Things

Well here it is, my 100th post! I guess that means I need to post 100 things. This could take awhile, but here goes:

1. Me and both of my children are Gemini's.
2. It is possible that my third child will also be a Gemini.
3. I am a Dr. Pepper addict.
4. I really miss my mom a lot during the holidays.
5. Mom and I didn't always have the best relationship but she was my best friend when she died.
6. I still talk to my mom like she can hear me, kinda like when I talk to God.
7. Hubs and I met at the mall.
8. My first husband and I met in a bar.
9. I talk too much.
10. I have 4 brothers and two sisters, all of which are half siblings.
11. I didn't meet my oldest little brother until 2003.
12. My biological father molested me for over 4 years.
13. My pastor also molested me after I confided in him about my father.
14. For many years I was a very bitter person towards God.
15. I used to be a Pentecostal.
16. Even though I don't live it, I still believe many of the Pentecostal beliefs.
17. Meeting my biological father was the worst mistake I ever made in my life.
18. I really wish I had listened to my mom and stayed away from him.
19. Part of me still wants to talk to him.
20. Another part of me is creaped out by the sound of his voice.
21. My greatest fear is that one of my kids will die before I do.
22. My second greatest fear is that I will die before I get my kids raised.
23. My favorite colors are navy and orange.
24. My lucky # is 13.
25. Winning is important to me.
26. I had the same boyfriend all 4 years of high school.
27. I often wonder about him and how he's doing.
28. I never got to attend a high school prom.
29. Never attended a high school dance either.
30. I hated the color pink until I had Sister, now I love it.
31. I am scared to death that this baby will be born preemie too.
32. My 5th grade boyfriend turned out to be gay.
33. I drive a 4 door truck.
34. My self esteem has always been extremely low.
35. I tend to come across as arrogant when the truth is, I am very self conscious.
36. Clogging used to be a hobby of mine.
37. I was a member of the East Texas Cloggers for years.
38. I used to play the coronet.
39. I want to teach elementary school once my kids are all in school themselves.
40. I hate cats.
41. Snakes petrify me.
42. My kids give me hope.
43. My bff has become a rich snob.
44. I wear a size 9 shoe.
45. One boob is bigger than the other.
46. My husband is an alcoholic.
47. I'm scared of dying.
48. I'm scared to death of getting cancer.
49. I used to love Michael Jackson and Prince when I was a kid.
50. I thought George Michael was the sexiest man alive.
51. I used to skate so fast that I had to skate backwards during the races.
52. The skating rink was my favorite hang out during 6th and 7th grade.
53. When I was a kid I dipped snuff.
54. A girl hit on me once because she thought I was a boy.
55. I got my first ticket driving to driver's ed.
56. I burp like a man.
57. I don't get along with either of my little sisters.
58. I am the oldest of all my siblings.
59. I am 13 years older than my youngest brother.
60. My eyes are hazel.
61. I stole chalk from the grocery store when I was 4 and my nanny made me take it back.
62. The manager threatened to put me in jail and it scared me to death.
63. I super glued my 9th grade English teacher to her chair.
64. My first job was an otc clerk at Eckerd Drug.
65. I worked for Eckerd's for 5 years.
66. I am a certified Pharmacy Technician.
67. I've never had a one night stand.
68. I started smoking when I was 12.
69. I used to go to the bar looking for a fight.
70. Someday I'd like to learn to knit.
71. I used to go to Colorado on vacation every year.
72. Cleaning house is not my thing.
73. Dusting doesn't happen often enough at my house.
74. I don't want to be rich but I'd like to be comfortable.
75. I have more online friends than I do irl friends.
76. Teenagers scare me.
77. I want to be a better mom and a better wife.
78. I love watermelon.
79. I'm too loud most of the time.
80. I didn't willingly have sex with a guy until the week before I turned 21.
81. The older I get the curlier my hair gets.
82. Being a mom is the greatest gift I've ever received.
83. I didn't go to my high school reunion because I was too ashamed of the way I looked.
84. Having another c-section scares me.
85. Natural birth is the way I hope to go this time.
86. Forgiving is hard for me.
87. Loving is even harder.
88. I hug my hubby and kids but hugging adults comes extremely hard for me.
89. My children are my world.
90. I love to read but rarely have time for it.
91. Baseball is my favorite sport.
92. I'd love to be a high school softball coach when I grow up.
93. I graduated in the top half of my class.
94. There were 463 students in my graduating class.
95. I love turnip greens and cornbread.
96. I miss my sister even though we don't get along.
97. I pray to one day have a reunion with all of my living siblings.
98. I don't attend church regular because I am scared of getting hurt.
99. People think I'm a lot tougher than I really am.
100. I am so glad to finally get this done with!!!!

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Christmas Is In The Air

A couple of weeks ago Bubba and I were out shopping. He saw me looking at some scarves and puting a few in my cart. I could see that he was in deep thought but I didn't say anything to him, and then, he quietly says, "Mom, can I buy a couple of those too?" I said of course, who would you like to buy them for? He wanted one for a "girlfriend" in Pennsylvania, one for a "girl" friend in his class, and then one for a girl that wasn't allowed to receive gifts.

He really likes this little girl at school. She's a super cute kid and always so polite and nice when I see her. She's a Jehovah's Witness and their religion doesn't celebrate holidays of any kind. No birthdays, no Thanksgiving or Christmas, nothing. So he was trying to figure out how he could buy Courtney a gift without it actually being a gift. He's a really sweet boy!

Courtney isn't allowed to come to school on days that they have school parties or any type of festivities so he knew that she wouldn't be attending school this Friday. They won't really be having a party but they are going to be watching Christmas movies and having refreshments. I really don't understand her religion but it kind of makes me feel sorry for her.

So anyway, Bubba decided that he would give her the scarf on the day of their field trip, which is tomorrow. The kids that participated in UIL competition are exempt from final exams so they get to go to the park and then to eat pizza. He said that he would put the scarf in his back pack and give it to her when they got to the park. It is supposed to be a windy, chilly day and he thinks that he can give it to her to keep her warm and pass it off as not actually being a "gift." I really hope that she accepts it. If she doesn't, or isn't allowed to, it is really going to break his heart.

I'm really proud of my boy! He has a big heart and thinks of others. That makes me really happy. It also bothers me to an extent. He really wants to please others and I worry that it may get him in trouble some day. I just have to pray that he doesn't let peer pressure get to him and that he does what he knows is right. I'm an over protective momma and I don't want my boy to get hurt!

Monday, December 8, 2008

Well Check???

So we go to the Dr. for our 18 month baby well check and leave with strep throat and a double ear infection? Why do they have toys and books in those Dr.'s offices? I tried really hard to keep her away from the toys, the magazines, the books, I just couldn't do it. She's a busy body and she touched stuff before I could get it out of her reach. I know I looked like the germaphobe mom but I knew that there were germs in that office and I didn't want her to get sick. She's been a very very healthy baby thus far. From now on I will carry a travel Lysol in my pocket and spray everything down. Seriously, I'm not joking one bit. This poor baby is S-I-C-K!!!! She can't swallow, she can't talk because her little throat hurts so bad. She coughs and she cries because it hurts so bad. Her ears hurt and her fever just won't stay down. I hate this!!! This is the first time that she has been really sick and I hope it is the last time for a very very long time.
Stupid Dr.'s office!!! I lay beside her and cry while she tosses and turns and whines because she feels bad and can't get comfortable. Why can't it be me instead of her? Poor baby!

Thursday, December 4, 2008

Here we go again

It's time for basketball season again. Bubba is so excited! He has been ready for months. We've got a really good group of boys this year and we should do well. I am looking forward to the season starting but will be very sad to see it end. I am pretty certain that it will be the last time that I ever get to coach Bubba. I have coached him every season of baseball and basketball since he started at 4 yrs. old. I have already told him that baseball is out of the question in the spring. I coached while I was preggo with Sister but there is just no way that I can do it this time around. Chasing a toddler, being preggo and coaching 11 yr old boys, NAH!
Basketball season is only 6 weeks and I am going to do my best to make it memorable for Bubba and I. My coaching shoes will stay on the shelf for awhile but you can bet your bottom dollar that they will come out again when Sister is ready to play. I'm not really sure how to be a parent during a ballgame. It will be a new experience for me. Bubba has played on a tournament team or two and I haven't coached those tournament teams but that's kinda different. I've always coached his league teams and it will be strange sitting in the stands and not having any control over what goes on in the field or on the court.

Control is my problem. I admit it, I like being in control of things. I don't adapt well to change and I like to have the ball in my court so to speak. It's not just during a ball game but in all aspects of life. There was a time in my life where I had absolutely no control and now that I'm out of that situation and I have regained control of myself and my life, I like to keep it that way. As lame as it may sound, I have a hard time riding in someone elses vehicle. I like to be the one behind the wheel. I need that control. Gah, now that I actually type it out, I really need to work on that, lol. I'm a control freak!